Knowledge

"knowledge is power." I don't remember who said that, but it can't always be that simple. Knowledge can also be painful, when you realize that the things your doing are hurtful to you. I'm not thinking about substance abuse, those people don't register that it hurts them. I'm talking psychological defense mechanisms. You fall into their trap when you're very young, and they are the only way to survive most of the time. It's so easy to get into them, but it takes someone else to help you break them. They become second nature, and you begin to anticipate the need for them because it's how life seems to work. When that happens you start poisoning any relationship you have with other people, and you realize that your defense mechanism doesn't actually work, but you keep coming to it time and again because it's the only way that you know.

Thoughts I shouldn't be thinking

I think I've mentioned that I people watch, if not then there it is. Around Valentine's day especially (I know, not until next month but the build up to it is already here) I note all the couples and wonder what those girls have that I'm missing.

It's family lore that it took divine intervention to bring my parents together, but I seem to be worse then they were. My total dating experience is very limited and extremely spread out. I'm putting this out there because it lets me vent, and hopefully avoid being overly emotional.

I'm just tired of being alone wondering what I'm missing, why I don't seem to even be getting asked out, let alone going out. It seems that I need divine intervention to get that far, but God seems to want me to suffer as well. The other thing about posting is that this blog seems to have as much presence in the world as I would appear to have.

Don't you hate it?

I had a great, inspired post to put up, and now I can't remember what it was about. I had it in my College Writing class, and we were talking about an article we read on "rewilding", or conservation efforts. I still have that great "warm and fuzzy" feeling about whatever it was I was going to write about. My mind however, is now a blank slate. Guess I'll move on to whatever comes to mind.

I was sent a link to an article about Sherlock Holmes (one of my fandoms) and it stated that Mr. Spock, and Commander Data (both of Star Trek fame, my biggest fandom) are off-shoots of Holmes. I find this to be hilarious because Data becomes obsesssed with Holmes during the run of Star Trek: the Next Generation. Now I'm trying to find the psychological implications surrounding Data being obsessed, and impersonating part of the inspiration for his character. Spock was of course the other big inspiration for the Data character. However this gives me a great excuse to include this:

Wow, that's tiny, sorry about that. This was created by my dad when he was bored at work one day. The Spocks (left) are Leonard Nimoy (front), and Zachary Quinto (back). The Holmes' (right) are Jeremy Brett (lower), and Basil Rathbone (upper). I think that's Rathbone, there are several actors who portrayed Holmes in black and white, so they all look kind of similar in profile, however, that picture doesn't match the ones I have of Rathbone.

1/11/12- intro

I've been using a different blog on this site, but that was for a class. I decided to make a generic one where I can go off on what I see, or do throughout the day. We'll see how long this keeps up. I'm a people watcher on a smallish college campus, this could get interesting. I say smallish because it's huge for this part of the country (Western), but not by national standards (I don't think). The semester just started today and everyone's still getting into their routines.