I work in a therapeutic group home for teenagers. This leads to a lot of life lessons that are not always taught the way they should be taught. Several weeks ago I had a conversation with a youth, who I call Full Circle. She was annoyed that I had not intervened in a disagreement between her and another resident referred to under the name Butterfinger Bites. NOTE: The name Butterfinger Bites is not intended in anyway to be racist. It's based on initials and is not the only candy themed name I have assigned to a kid. The dispute was about who got to use the television. Now, both of these persons are legal adults. I pointed this out and stated that they should be able to work out something as adults. This displeased Full Circle who went to a different part of the house. 


After dinner is when Full Circle asked me about the event from earlier in the day. She asked why I didn't become involved or stick up for her. I, am a devout conflict avoider, pretty much to a fault. It was also essentially a lesson: you can't always run to another person, sometimes you are going to have to sort out things on your own. We got into a bit of a heated discussion in which I told her that life sucks and there is always going to be a lot of pain for every bit of happiness.


Really, that was more pessimistic than I normally am. I am a jaded person, just like everyone else in the world who can drive a car legally. Some people live solely for the happy few minutes in life, and choose to essentially ignore the rest of life. I like the happy moments just like anyone else. However, I know that they are fleeting, which just makes them more precious.


I realized about a week ago that Full Circle was still miffed at me about this conversation that we had had. I was trying to find someway of explaining that it isn't always the pits, though life is a rollercoaster. I thought about it, and wasn't really able to come up with a way that would work to say out-loud. I'm not the best at imparting life lessons in verbal form. I almost never know how to go about them, or how to stop talking once the point is made. This is the solution I came up with, even though no one reads this blog.


Life is sort of like this blog. I know no one reads it, yet I post when I feel the urge, and am not stuck in some book or another. That is why there was a week delay in getting this. I don't really give up on it, though sometimes I forget it exists, but I keep plucking away at it when I do remember it.


Life is about the search for humanity, and it isn't found where most people think it'll be found. Humanity is found in people, in the way we interact with each other. it makes the difference in the world. Have you ever eaten a meal alone? Most of us have at some point, typically at home. However, have you ever done it in a restaurant? One where every table but yours has at least two people talking to each other? No matter how nice the food is, it isn't quite the same when there is no one to share it with. You are missing the component of humanity that makes a meal truly worth the eating, truly sustaining for someone.


We often believe that humanity is an internal trait, but it can't exist in the vacuum of a single person. How could you prove you were humane? Kindness to animals? That could just mean that you prefer animals to people, not humanity. Humanity is being able to deal with your fellow man and being able to interact with them. We hear about people who do heinous acts against others, and call them inhuman. It's true, we shouldn't treat each other with disrespect. However, respect is an internal trait.  Respect is something that can be taught. Humanity is not. Humanity is bred from our interactions with others.


I feel that this would almost sound like a speech that some great orator would read in that it riles the crowd, but it does not necessarily impart much in the way of learning, even though that is the intention here. I feel that this is a lot of words, and hardly any substance. However, it isn't often that the person writing, or doing anything else gets the full impact of the thing they are doing. We have the perfection of our minds to mar what actually comes out to the rest of the world. Maybe, if someone reads this, they can learn something.